There are two voices:
v1: We ought to talk about the future.
v2: Hello? Hello?
v1: We ought to talk ABOUT the future.
v2: Hello? Christ. Hello? Hello?
v1: The future. FEW-CHUR. We ought to talk about it.
v2: Hello? Hello? You know, I can't understand the future. It's not my expertise.
v1: You don't have any expertise. Please, can't we just seem happy?
v2: I'm happy. The roses smell amazing right now. There's one in the front lawn that is
redder than your lipstick and bigger than my palm. We left and I saw it.
v1: It'll be there when we get back.
v2: But the stones in front of my face are perfect. The stones here make sense. What a
wonderful place. Look at that. It's gorgeous. Is that the sun? It's scorching itself.
Do we have the camera? The present. Immovable.
v1: Really. Really is. It's like a dream. No, we don't have the camera. I knew I forgot
something. Oh well.
v2: It sure is.
v1: You're here, aren't you? You're holding my hand? I just need to make sure.
v2: Yes, of course. I'm holding your hand, nice and tight, but we have to take in our
surroundings without a leash, can I let go?
v1: Ok, ok, but slowly. Don't let go too quick. Like one line on our palms at a time, until
we feel our fingertips and then let's
hold our fingertips together just a little extra. In ten seconds let's do it.
v2: No, won't work, right now. That was nice………….You have amazing hands.
v1: Thank you.
v1: What day is it?
v2: I'm not sure.
v1: In two days it's Sunday.
v2: Oh God.
v2: Oh God, damn, god dammit.
v1: What? What's wrong? Are you ok?
v2: Now, I believe it. It's absolutely what is happening right now, to me. Absolutely. This
v1: Which girl?
v2: Over there, dark hair. on the left. Let's hide. In here. Let's go. Duck.
v2: Come on, please, here. In here.
v1: Ok. But I don't like this.
v1: Who is she?
v2: Just someone. School together.
v1: What school?
v2: Her name is Diamond. School, school together. She's not important. We just need to
not be seen.
v1: This is ridiculous. Her name is Diamond? What type of school was this? I don't like
v2: No! Stop!
v1: Diamond? Hello, Diamond?
v2: Christ! She's dead.
v1: You're insane. When did you know her? What is this all about? Diamond!
v2: I don't know what you're saying. I can't understand you. Stop yelling!
v1: You're not speaking my language. This vile spirit of our future is going to come
between us. I see it.
v2: Oh, what do you see? You see figments. It has to end.
v1: It's just starting.
v2: I'm diving into something I don't like.
v1: It's not "I'm", it's "we're". Could you please do me a favor and refer to us as one at
v2: Yes, but speak to her and that's it.
v1: I'm speaking to her.
v2: That's it.
v1: She's gone! Diamond?! Little brunette?!
v2: She's nothing but a brunette.
v1: Little brunette. Brunette-spirited thing! Where?
v2: See. That's what happens. Did you feel it. That was God talking. He wiped her out of
v1: Yeah, well, next time.
v2: We're not coming back here again.
v1: Why, it's so lovely here. You're upsetting me. You've hurt my feelings. You're always
v2: Brooding? How am I always brooding.
v1: You just are.
v2: I'm not brooding at all. I'm totally happy, what are you talking about?
v1: You're broody.
v1: Yeah, last night you kept saying I wasn't listening and then you would get angry and
v2: I wasn't angry or broody.
v1: You are broody, it's ok, it's not a bad thing.
v2: That's interesting. Well, you're kind of hard to understand. You have kind of this slow
gaze, you have these kind of slow eyes.
v1: What do you mean?
v2: Last night I just couldn't tell if you were going to fall asleep or not.
v1: No, I was just taking it in, like pictures.
v2: That's interesting.
v1: I kind of see in pictures.
v2: Like, one image at a time.
v2: Have you always been like that?
v1: I think so.
v2: So you're slow?
v1: I'm not slow. That's not a good thing to say. What if I'm slow? Slow is like something
you can do nothing about. I'm going to look away from you now.
v2: No, I mean, your gaze was just slow. You're not slow. I'm slow.
v1: You're not slow.
v2: I'm so dumb. I'm one of the dumbest people you'll ever meet.
v1: You're not dumb. That makes me not wanna be stuck here with you. That's what I'm
saying, makes me not wanna be here. With a dumb person. We aren't dumb.
v2: I'm possibly the dumbest motherfucker to ever cross the street. I know nothing.
Things come into my mouth and exit in little balls of undigested fur.
v1: Last night was amazing. In the car.
v2: It really was. Thank you.
v1: I like your dick.
v1: It's very nice.
v2: Oh, thank you, doll.
v1: Yes. It's shaped kind of perfectly.
v2: Well……I like your pussy.
v2: Your pussy's nice.
v1: I've heard it tastes good.
v2: ……….That would have been nice to try.
v1: Or so I've been told. I've heard that some girl's don't taste so good.
v1: But we were in the car and the car isn't always easy.
v2: It is a little difficult. There were things I wanted to do with you.
v1: Like what?
v2: Turn you over.
v2: Onto your stomach.
v1: Yeah. And fuck me on my stomach.
v2: That would be so nice.
v1: You have nice lips.
v2: You have nice lips.
v1: Your lips are big.
v2: They are.
v1: Very nice.
v2: Why would you say that?
v1: I didn't say anything.
v2: 'I've heard it tastes good.'
v2: Who would know that it tastes good?
v1: I don't know. What?
v2: I don't understand that.
v1: I'm sorry?
v2: Why would I want to know that somebody else tasted it. I don't understand why you
would say that.
v1: You don't think anyone else has tasted it?
v2: No, no it doesn't matter. It's hopeless.
v1: You're wondering and now it's hopeless.
v2: Who's wondering? Girls like to do that. Girls like to take out men's knees.
v1: Men's knees? Why can't I say something like that? It was almost a joke.
v2: I need to be the only one.
v1: Ok, you are. You are, definitely. I'm putting my hands around your neck and
v2: I need to be the only one that's ever done anything. I've found you at day one. You
say I like to be turned over, then I will turn you over for the first time in all creation. You
mention your lips taste good after a shower, then I will be the only man to have ever
tasted them. You bring up the time the blood first escaped you, then I was the one who
freed it from its prison. I'm obsessive. It's owned by me. I can be the only one. Nothing
else. So, who's tasted your pussy?
v2: My eyes, they're here. Who tasted it? And I can't say who tasted it "first" because
then I'm helping you too much. Who TASTED your pussy? First.
v2: It can only be that way. Me. First. I don't think I'm the only man that feels this way.
But I hate men. There I go again, broody, right?
v1: What about Diamond?
v1: You're lucky I don't attack you. You're very lucky. What about her? ‘Oooh, ooh,
duck, here, hide from her, please?’ Why is that okay?
v2: Diamond is gone. And I never said that Diamond thought my dick tasted good.
v1: But, I wouldn't mind if you said that.
v2: Oh yes you would.
v1: No, I wouldn't.
v2: You wouldn't?
v1: I would. That's why I'm saying now, why is it ok for you to bring her up? You could
have grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into a different room
and I would have never known Diamond existed.
v2: Diamond doesn't exist anymore.
v1: You're a clown.
v2: Thank you.
v1: The twelve men that have said my pussy tastes like grapes don't exist anymore either.
v1: Twelve. I was actually given a different taste by each one. Grapes, Pinot Noir,
v1: Really so much ingenuity….
v1: It's good we've only met last night.
v2: And we're here. Unable to move. I'm putting my head on your stomach.
v1: Are there babies in there?
v1: Twelve babies?
v2: Oh, we're stuck, I can't even put my head down into your crotch.
v1: My stomach is better. Listen to me breathe.
v2: You have the most lovely eyes. I really love them. They kind of make your face a
mask. I was once walking in Barcelona and came across a shop that sold
masks. The girl inside had the same gaze as you. She told me she had children and she
loved them more than stars.
v1: What else do you like about me?
v2: Pale skin.
v2: Your voice.
v1: Good enough.
v2: Lucky number 13.
v1: What's that?
v2: I'm number 13. Well, ok. I'm shutting my eyes. What do you like about me?
v1: You're kind of a jerk. And you're young. I like young men. And what's number 13?
v2: I'm your 13th man, I suppose that's ok.
v1: The 13th?
v2: The 13th?
v1: That I've slept with?
v2: That you've slept with?
v1: No, it must be 27.
v2: That's not very low. I'm putting my forehead on your forehead now. You said 27?
v1: 12 have said that my pussy tasted like something good.
v2: You've slept with 27 men?
v1: Yes. You know it's uncomfortable for me to say that, so please be careful with your
words. You'll hurt my feelings.
v2: I'm here. Almost literally joined at the hip to you and you're saying these vulgar
things that I can't even comprehend. 12, ok 12. I was going to be ok with 12 because you
know what? I've slept with 14 and they've all said I've had an amazing dick, and I was
going to be ok with you saying 12 because then I would have slept with 2 more than you
not including me, and I would have been lucky number 13 and I was just forgetting about
the whole "day one" obsession I have and now you say 27 which is God knows however
many more than I've slept with! And who KNOWS if I can believe the number 27. What,
were you in the Army? How did that happen?
v1: I don't think we'd ever let people talk like this to us. Why are we putting up with it?
v2: And you ask that question?
v1: Your voice was different on the phone. You sounded very mature.
v2: I get that.
v1: And I was curious. Curiosity goes a long way.
v2: It does.
(LIGHTS GO OUT INSTANTLY)
(LIGHTS COME UP AND v1 is in a black sequined dress, v2 is in a black tuxedo)
v1: And I'm sorry, but it's just not fair. This idea of being the first one to make it. I wish I
could change that for you.
v2: Let's not talk about it…….or anything.
v1: But I'm sorry.
v2: You're sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry. And that's enough.
v1: But it's just not a plausible idea, in fact it's just impossible. I can't imagine it ever
v2: No, it is plausible, it just takes a lot of looking/searching and lying.
v2: Looking. I'll have to just look for virgins in the future. So I can be the first. And
lying, because if I sense that I'm not the first then I'll need
to give the other person hints that I need to be the first and then they'll have to lie and say,
"Yes, you are the first."
v1: You are my first.
v2: Ok, thank you.
v1: You're the first to ever touch me in any way.
v2: And it certainly is plausible. Electricity is a thing that would make sense with the title
implausible. If someone said we could take fibers of
shock or fire and light up our houses and cities then the title "implausible" makes sense.
But me wanting to be the first to ever taste you is not an
v1: But there's billions of people in the world. It's uncomfortable to even think about. My
mother told me that when I lost my teeth as a child I was
losing my innocence.
v2: She was right.
v1: You don't want my innocence.
v2: There's nothing I can do about teeth. That's God's job.
v2: He controls certain things.
v1: Like the fact that the first time I was ever touched we lived 2,000 miles apart and
didn't even know each other existed.
v2: I thought we weren't going to talk about this. I'm putting my ear against your throat. I
want to hear if your heart is regular.
v1: That's God's doing.
v2: I don't believe in God.
v1: I do.
v2: I don't believe in the police.
v1: I do.
v2: Days when cops and God loved people are long gone.
v1: Cops and God love people more than themselves.
v2: That's what we're taught to believe.
v1: I believe in what I'm taught. I believe Diamond is real.
v2: She was.
v1: She is.
v2: We used to smoke cigars together.
v1: I think I saw her for a moment there. She looked like a pigeon. She was jumping from
tile to tile. How do you know her?
v2: I enjoy brunettes. We were forced to see each other a lot longer than either of us
would have liked.
v1: Let's stay here and talk about it, because it's getting cold and your breath is warm so
keep talking. Let's promise not to be upset
with each other? Otherwise I'm going to leave.
v2: You can't leave. We can't see which way to go without standing in front of the train.
v1: That doesn't seem to have stopped me in the past.
v2: It will now.
v2: Talked all the time. At first we did. Then….
v1: It boiled down into just sex?
v2: Like everything….
v1: And you were her first everything?
v2: I wasn't. So, no, I didn't care much for her. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold
on. My fingernails were barely there.
v1: But you had to be there?
v2: She was kind of a bumpkin.
v1: She was?
v2: She wore muumuus.
v1: There's nothing wrong with a muumuu.
v2: Yes, but these were kind of like bed-sheets. You know we'd walk into cafes and
people would kind of turn their heads. Their
heads would turn sharply and I turned my head down to the floor. She wore big pink and
v1: And you had to stay with her because you were pitying her.
v2: She got pregnant. She wanted to keep the child and I just couldn't do it.
v1: So you left her.
v2: And then I found Diamond. And a few others.
v1: But what about this other one that you couldn't get rid of?
v2: We were in a cafe, we just weren't understanding each other.
v1: What else is new?
v2: Yeah, but she was talking about the future all of the time and I was only capable of,
as I am now, to talk about the present.
My chest starts to hurt when we get too far into the future.
v1: But it's necessary. In a few days we'll probably never know each other.
v2: Don't say that.
v1: It's possible, but I'm sorry. She wasn't speaking your language.
v2: And I mentioned this painting that was hanging on the wall. I'd seen it before on the
cover of a book.
v1: What was the painting?
v2: I think it's famous. It's of a girl, kind of plump, and white, kind of pale. She has this
blue dress on that rolls down onto her hips, I think it was a kind of
chiffon. It was one of these paintings that everyone has seen. I'd seen it as a child. It was
probably the first painting I'd ever seen, and that's when I realized
what a woman was to a man. A woman is the first thing a man experiences and vice
v1: So she was your first? The painting?
v2: She was my first painting. She had this crooked arm that bowed out of her dress that
always looked kind of deformed to me. I didn't like
that part and whenever I show someone the painting I have to bring up this deformed
v1: This painting kept you and this girl together? Stuck in the cafe?
v2: She had never seen the painting before. She was lost. I decided she'd already been
taken. She'd been taken dozens of times. Between her
legs were so many stories that I would die before I could read them all.
v1: She wanted to tell you something? She wanted you to be her future. I'm going to put
my lips on yours. I usually don't
follow through on this urge but I'm going to do it, because I want to. This is going to be
the first time I've ever put my lips
on someone else's lips.
v1: Your lips…
v2: Are big, I know. I've been told that.
v1: Who's told you that?
v2: Let me finish up with this girl. I decided that I would just be another one of her
stories in between her crotch and then burn the pages.
v1: That's simple enough.
v2: But the story got bigger. A few weeks after I thought I’d burned the final pages, I get
a phone call.
v2: And she was pregnant.
v1: You have a child?
v2: No, she tried to have it to spite me, but I talked her out of it. A few fake tears and
pleading and so on and I talked her out of it.
v1: That sounds awful.
v2: It was. You know I'm not a mean person.
v1: Let's talk about us and only us.
v2: I wrote a song inside you last night. In the car. I was looking at your face while we
were making love. We were kissing and I was looking
at your face with its closed eyes.
v1: You shouldn't do that.
v2: I kept my eyes open until I was just closer than 12 inches. 12 inches is where you fall
in love or you decide not to fall in love.
v1: I want to hold your hand again.
v1: Why 12 inches.
v2: 12 inches is kissing distance. At 12 inches you're either going to kiss someone or not.
It's like Spanish girls, if she'll look at you,
she'll make love to you.
v1: I'm not Spanish, but I'm curious.
v2: If she'll look at you, she'll hold your hand. If she'll hold your hand, she'll let you hug
her. If she'll hug you, she'll let you kiss her. If she'll
v1: That seems a bit vague.
v2: I suppose it is.
v1: It's just one of those things about not wanting to say "what is what".
v2: It bothers me when people have to say what is what, because you just never know
what they actually mean. Imagine if our hearts had mouths. But our hearts
get rape too often, our hearts get abandoned too often like sidewalks at night.
v1: They do.
v2: They always do.
v1: Not always. You can't say that. That isn't hopeful.
v2: Oh no.
v2: Oh my god, ah, ah, ah.
v1: Are you ok? Is that Diamond?
v2: Ah, ah, AH…I can't breathe. My chest.
v1: Can I help. You can't breathe.
v2: I'm having trouble seeing.
v1: What's wrong with your chest? I think I see Diamond.
v2: Something's clamping onto my heart, it feels like. Put your hands on my shoulders,
v1: Ok. I don't think anything's clamping onto your heart, you're not dead. Breathe. But I
do see Diamond coming.
v1: She is lovely. She's a brunette. She looks like her name might be Diamond Love. Her
last name must be love.
v2: No, her last name is--ah ah ah, my chest.
v1: She's coming near us. Are you ok? I don't think she ought to see you in this state.
v2: The state we're in is----ah ah ah. Diamond's last name is…..
v1: Here she is.
(Lights go OUT)
v1: Thank you for not dying last night.
v2: Yes, I don't know what that was about.
v1: You've never had anything happen like that before?
v2: I have. When I was younger.
v1: But you are young.
v2: I'm not young.
v1: You look young. Every time I see you you look younger. I'm supposed to be the
v2: There's nothing pretty about me.
v1: Your lips are…
v1: No, your lips are pretty along with your nose.
v2: This nose? What happened when Diamond got to us. I passed out before she showed
up didn't I.
v1: You did pass out before she showed up, but actually, she never did show up.
v2: She didn't.
v1: She came close and then I noticed she was with someone.
v1: A coughing man.
v2: She was with a man than was coughing.
v1: He was coughing and holding his chest. He was dressed for a party. In fact, they were
both dressed for some fancy time it looked like.
v2: What was she wearing?
v1: A black dress.
v2: I couldn't stand that black dress.
v1: I love a black dress.
v2: You do.
v1: I would.
v2: Why do you say that?
v1: They're from the underworld.
v2: Little black dresses?
v1: All of them. They're manufactured out of abandonment. Abandonment of color.
v2: But they belong in every closet.
v1: Of course they do. You'll never not notice a black dress.
v2: I've always wanted to be black.
v1: Wear a black dress?
v2: No, be black.
v1: I think Diamond is dead.
v2: She has to be.
v1: She's devoted all her time to disappearing.
v2: I've never known her that way.
v1: You must have. You just don't remember.
v2: I remember her as blotted out phrases in a book. She was always erasing things from
v1: She erased herself.
v2: She's there! Her eyes, I see them.
v2: I'm putting my hands on your face and describing her to you.
v2: Black hair.
The wrong face.
Space, ok, space.
I see. I see.
v1: What? What is it?
v2: She walks.
Her arms slightly touch her ribs as she walks.
Her legs slightly smear against each other as she takes each step
v1: That's what you see? Lovely. She's with the man.
v2: Is he in black?
v1: I'm putting my lips steamingly close to your lips and I'm going to tell you. Green
eyes. Oh my god. The book is changing right here, it’s changing here.
v2: What’s book? Which book?
v1: His eyes are crazed. He’s crazed.
(She laughs at this)
comedian in sheep’s clothes.
But it’s all black.
His arms are black.
Blue knuckles and protruding veins.
Everything is protruding.
(Pause. They look at each other.)
v2: Full of hate. You saw me.
v1: You saw me.
v2: I did.
v1: I saw you.
v2: It was you.
v1: We were holding hands?
v2: Yes. We stood in front of a mirror.
v1: And examined each other.
v2: We talked and talked and then someone threw there hands up into the air.
v1: That's what we did. They didn't understand something.
v2: I'm not understanding this.
v1: We never will.
v2: Won't we?
v1: We never will.
v2: You're right.
v1: We never will. But hold my hand. I like what I see.
(Pause. They look into the distance.)
v2: Of course I'll hold your hand.
v1: For how long.
v2: Personally, I hope forever.
v1: We never will.